Coldhearted Snake
"Not Too Cold: 19 Degrees"
This was on the screen tonight during the weather portion of the 10:00 news. I offer it now in support of my previous claim that meteorologists should not make Small Talk—written, spoken, or otherwise.
Since when is any temperature ending in "teen" Not Too Cold?
Need I remind everyone that water freezes at 32 degrees? We're talking about a liquid becoming a solid here, people. And what are people made of (mostly)? Exactly. Last time I checked, one could still contract frostbite in 19 degree weather. Hypothermia surely is a bit of a threat in 19 degree weather. Many gardeners would wrap their flowering shrubs if they knew a 19 degree night was coming on. Most of us would bring our pets indoors. And I'll bet that tomorrow morning, my car doors will be frozen shut. Again. For the third day in a row.
As for that Small-Talk-Making Snake who likes to post such bold, unsubstantiated claims in print at the start of the nightly news, well, I suppose he could be right: 19 might not be so cold . . . for a penguin.
Somebody get me a tuxedo. And some flippers.
This was on the screen tonight during the weather portion of the 10:00 news. I offer it now in support of my previous claim that meteorologists should not make Small Talk—written, spoken, or otherwise.
Since when is any temperature ending in "teen" Not Too Cold?
Need I remind everyone that water freezes at 32 degrees? We're talking about a liquid becoming a solid here, people. And what are people made of (mostly)? Exactly. Last time I checked, one could still contract frostbite in 19 degree weather. Hypothermia surely is a bit of a threat in 19 degree weather. Many gardeners would wrap their flowering shrubs if they knew a 19 degree night was coming on. Most of us would bring our pets indoors. And I'll bet that tomorrow morning, my car doors will be frozen shut. Again. For the third day in a row.
As for that Small-Talk-Making Snake who likes to post such bold, unsubstantiated claims in print at the start of the nightly news, well, I suppose he could be right: 19 might not be so cold . . . for a penguin.
Somebody get me a tuxedo. And some flippers.
3 Comments:
If I ever start a band of more than four members, our name is going to be Not Too Cold 19.
Only if I can play the triangle. Or the tambourine. I do so love auxiliary percussion . . .
Done. But I'm lead kazoo.
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