Real Life Stories: Pink Ladies are the Greatest

I know that some of you were perhaps skeptical of my unabashed declarations of apple love a month or so ago. As proof that my worship of the Pink Lady is not simply some passing fancy taken up by a Lonely Dissertation Widow, I offer up this actual conversation from last Saturday morning.

SCENE: 8:30AM, Walgreens, Verona Wisconsin, approximately 1 hour before the Small Liberal Church choir begins it's dress rehearsal for the Schubert Mss in G. SPARKY, the choir director, is purchasing a stick of deoderant since she seems to have forgotten to put any on prior to leaving her apartment on the edge of the edge of the hood. She enters the store eating an apple, hastily grabs a stick of Degree, and begins her walk up to the main counter. MAKE-UP SALES LADY (MUSL), who has been stocking the nearby shelves with tweezers, intercepts her.

MUSL (smiling)

Do you need to check out?

SPARKY (distracted)

Oh, yes please! That would be great.

MUSL

I can help you right over here at the cosmetic counter.

SPARKY (handing over deodorant)

Thanks.

MUSL (as she’s ringing up the deodorant)

That’s a really nice looking apple. Fugi?

SPARKY

Huh? Oh, no. It’s a—

MUSL (interrupting)

Oh! Is it a Pink Lady?

SPARKY (surprised)

Yeah! I mean, yes. Yes ma’am, it’s a Pink Lady.

MUSL

Oh, I love those Pink Ladies. So sweet!

SPARKY (gushing, hands over her debit card)

Yes, and always crispy. I really like the fact that they’re always crispy.

MUSL (earnestly)

Always. They’re really good apples.

SPARKY (boldly)

I think they’re the greatest.

MUSL (still earnestly, hands back debit card)

They really are. Do you need a bag?

SPARKY

Wha? Oh, no. No thanks.

MUSL

Well, you enjoy that nice apple.

SPARKY

Thanks! Have a great day!

SPARKY exits, beaming. MUSL casts a longing look at the half-eaten apple as SPARKY leaves, then goes back to stocking tweezers.